Making the Most of My Solitude

Reflecting on my life under quarantine and the steps I took to find equanimity.

I did not know what to expect when I first learned that we now had an invisible enemy: COVID-19. It all happened so fast.

In March, the constant downpour of news regarding the pandemic had prompted me to shelter in place.

Anxiety now lingered in the fresh air every time I needed to venture outside as stores were facing shortages of food and supplies. My thoughts became bleak as I adjusted to feelings of isolation in this new world. Yet, my experiences taught me to make the most of my time in solitude.

My life had been upended by the pandemic. Almost all forms of meaningful social interaction now took place online, making day-to-day interactions with my friends, family, and colleagues less tangible.

For several weeks, I did not sleep very well. I also lost a sense of a daily routine as I started working from home.

Finding ways to separate my work hours from my personal time proved to be challenging as these two facets of my life were now more closely intertwined, competing to occupy the same space in my apartment. What was I going to do to find balance?

I obtained some insight after many nights of journaling. In this practice, I felt urged to tend to my life as though it were a garden by developing a clearer understanding of my needs. It soon became evident that apart from not having much of a social life, I was not spending enough time engaging myself in meaningful activities.

After work, I would aimlessly browse the web on social media and various news aggregate sites or look for something to watch on video streaming platforms. These were quick and easy ways of pacifying my boredom. They did not fulfill me in the long run.

After setting restrictions on such activities I needed to figure out what to do with my time. I sat down and quietly contemplated this near the end of each day. My mind’s eye soon pictured the person I wanted to become by the end of the pandemic and helped me to define actionable steps towards my goals.

First, I envisioned myself developing as a writer whilst honing my talents in photography. For quite some time, photography had remained my only creative outlet. Over the past year, I learned a lot about the craft and continually pushed to take my skills to greater heights.

However, I took frequent breaks from photography to avoid burning out and now felt eager to pick up writing to occupy myself during these periods. I decided to facilitate this by creating a platform where I could document my photography journey and share other insights I have learned. Hence, I put my web development skills to the test by building my blog site. I yearned to make this place my very own digital garden.

Furthermore, I reorganized my daily schedule to focus more on self-care. I now went on long walks each morning to energize myself before work and catch some sunlight which I sorely lacked.

Given that I was spending most of my time indoors, I devoted more effort towards keeping my apartment clean and free of clutter. In addition, I set aside time to read engaging long-form essays and write in my journal regularly. These changes helped me nurture my mental health, especially on the most difficult days.

In solitude, I learned to become more intentional with my time. I examined my need for fulfillment and opted to invest time towards becoming a writer. This pursuit encouraged me to launch this website to write about my progress in photography and share my musings.

I also learned to prioritize taking better care of myself. While it remains tough to maintain an active social life, I take solace in knowing that things will not remain this way forever as the pandemic will eventually come to pass.